What could 'being present' in life look like?

The first time I went for a mindfulness class, I had no idea what the eff was I supposed to do. The guide asked me to feel my feet and I wondered what feeling my feet should feel like :D. She then asked me to look at a leaf and notice my surroundings and I got confused if I was looking carefully enough. Also, when was I done looking?

Having known that version of me I am pretty surprised that I understand mindfulness better and now know moments where I feel present. It took about one year of meditating 'badly' almost daily for 10ish minutes before I started to understand what could mindfulness feel like.

I used to think that mindfulness and meditation are something higher and spiritual, and are hard to access. Now, 10 years later, I know that for the most part mindfulness is just coming back to my body (and thus the moment) through my senses, or drawing. For others, it might be walking, or meditating that helps them be mindful.

It is at once the simplest and the most complex thing I know. When I am mindful, I let go, and am just present in the moment, "feeling" what's going on around me and within me. There's a sense of being 'zoomed in' into life. And I love that feeling. I try to write from and make art from this place of serenity rather than a place of ego. Though there are times when I am chasing this serene feeling instead of accepting what I am feeling in the moment.

For example, it is harder to access this feeling when I am in pain or anxious, maybe because right now my brain cannot believe that it is safe to let go when I am in pain or anxious. I believe that as time passes if I keep up my side of the bargain, I will be able to access a state of mindfulness in the middle of difficult situations too- this is the prayer/intention :).

What is your current prayer or intention?

Thank you for reading,

Beant