Why the blood, sweat, and tears for success is a lie, and why you should find your own path

The lie of blood, sweat, and tears

When someone tells me that I need blood, sweat, and tears to succeed somewhere, I usually run the other way.

Because it is a lie.

I have seen people bleed, sweat, and cry all their lives and still not get the opportunities, support, or resources to succeed.

This is unfair and since it's hard for me to accept that life is unfair, it is easier to believe that I need to suffer to grow or accomplish anything.

Because then I would feel like I "earned" success because I have suffered.

Like I worked very hard under a lot of stress at the beginning of my career, and it paid off but it also left a bad taste in my mouth and lots of health problems, and made life feel like a one-dimensional, boring journey.

Learning new ways of being

My boredom and health problems made me seek other ways of being. And I stumbled on books like The Art of Possibility, The Artist's Way, Radical Acceptance, etc and followed programs like the altMBA.

I also went for therapy and coaching and joined support groups, and had many honest conversations with colleagues, friends and family members.

And all this has brought me much closer to building the kind of life I want. I also started sharing things that help build a joyful and meaningful life, through writing and courses like redefining our relationship with failure and Leveling up Listening Skills.

These days I feel grateful for all the possibilities in life, instead of trying to settle some unseen account of suffering. And follow the path of openness, curiosity, low resistance and joy.

If you feel that the 'hardcore' approach is not working for you, ask yourself if you really want that thing. If yes, find a way that works well for you and brings you joy.

For example, what works best for me is to do a little bit of something consistently over a longer period of time, e.g., 5 or 10 years. This is how I learned to write, draw, dance, learn Dutch and now Spanish, run, drive, run a successful business, do user research, etc.

It might be a slower path, but I don't mind because I am enjoying it all the way rather than waiting for the big payoff at the end.

Where are you asking too much of yourself and need to find the path of least resistance for you?

Thank you and till later!

Beant